Distant Dream

As a kid i always felt captivated by the charisma of Pakistan Air force. The uniform, the discipline, thrill, fighter jets and the spirit. Everything inspired me to make a wish and to dream! I remember my feelings; just to be a part of it one day. But then life happened, and my eyesight started weakening. Too early though. But it never stopped me from dreaming..

By matriculation I had a definite dream to be the first female GD Pilot of Pakistan. To be the one who will fly F-16s and to be the first female fighter pilot who will win sword of honor and embrace martyrdom while serving her homeland. I imagined this all. Wished it. However, I admit that it was too far fetched.

During the final days of matric in 2003, I remember sharing my wish with my friends. And they laughed, mostly because of how stupid it sounded from someone wearing spectacles. And partly because air force had not stated taking females yet for GD Pilot or even for engineering. However, some friends motivated me by saying that I can get a handsome fighter pilot, who may take me for a ride in his F-16. To which my reply was; "No! I want to be a fighter pilot myself!."

Later on, when internet came in, my first email id was "flyingofficerabeer@hotmail.com". One may call it a teen's obsession. 

So I started working on my eyesight by consuming loads of carrots a day during its season and off season trying different home remedies to strengthen my eyesight. Obviously the miracle of re-gaining 6/6 eyesight never happened. And I rather turned out as an average student. However, my wish; my dream always remained dear to me. I knew I can never achieve it. But I loved it.

Years later in 2012, I applied in air force for ground position. And I was rejected on medical basis due to my weak eyesight. It was devastating. It broke me. Because it was too unexpected for me. I still remember my walk from PAF Faisal base hospital to the main gate of selection center. I came all the way crying. Alone. Because weak eyesight was acceptable for ground positions but mine was too weak to be accepted. I buried my dream in my heart that day.

However, in all those years, something wonderful happened which never happened before. PAF started taking females for pilots. Girls were emerging much more than I imagined for myself. As fighter pilots, wearing that uniform, holding that helmet, taking extensive trainings, sitting in cockpits and flying the jets.A female cadet also won sword of honor. Even they were inducted in army other than medical posts. All of this always made me so happy that I can never explain in words. It all became a distant dream for me but for the love of it, this charisma remained with me.

And then yesterday, martyrdom of Marium Mukhtiar happened. For a moment, I was shaken. I glanced at her picture and my heartbeat was not normal. It was heartbreaking and it had a beauty. It reminded me of a wish. And how I imagined it. It was more or less the same. With all the armed forces inducting females more then ever in recent years, I never thought that such thing will ever happen. But it did. And I wonder how lucky she is. I have no words for the strength and courage for this young, fearless, intelligent and outstanding lady. 

May her soul rest in peace. She have achieved her dreams and inspired so many.

By now, I have seen my distant dream being fulfilled in so many forms by so many girls that it brighten me up from inside every time. It is one of the most beautiful feeling.

May we all achieve our dreams, no matter how high, no matter how far!

Dilemma

I think to write...

And then words fade away!

My dear Secret Fan factory !

If you think that this blog has a very few readers & fans or this is not a much popular blog than you are wrong. Far too much wrong!

For; as a matter of good fact this blog or may be you can say it's writer has gained immense popularity within last few months and as a matter of not so good fact this popularity is actually largely composed of our society most popular *Fffrrraannddshheppp* curse rather than the actual writing or blogging impact.

It happened since the day i've published my these three posts:

1. River flows in you...

2. Blunt.

3. But what do we call that?

and my my...... i never knew my these posts will invent a Fan Factory for me.

Cut the long story short... from the whole lot of responses i am too date receiving, only the few were the literary called responses and all the rest are... RUBBISH !

I truly appreciate those few readers who took out their time, trace my email and inbox me their views regarding my blog filled with the sweet & the sour, the good & the weak side, appreciations, pointed flaws in my writings and formal criticism. It includes both genders. Much much thanks !

All the others...

Who fall in different stages of fraindsheppp...

and these stages goes from the mild to the worst level.

1. There were the one's who read those posts or anyone one of them or took an overlook of my blog, liked *me* and mailed me and express me their maximum one line "view" and asked me to be friends. [IGNORE]

2. Then came those who got some more time, searched me on facebook and inbox me + a friend request. [IGNORE]

3. Then those who just got stick to their messages and keep-telling-me-how-great-i-am even after the request ignore; unless and until i had to block them. [IGNORE]

4. Then came some those who exceed the one-line-thing, come up with their great observations regarding me through my oh-so-deeply-romantic-writings and my oh-so-innocent display picture at facebook and hammered on my head their constant messages and friend request from different different names, send me their CVs..... oh yes! Really the kind of CV's which includes all the details from their personal traits to their professional achievements and were alas failed to prove their i-am-your-biggest-fan sentiments + *sincere* concerns. [IGNORE]

Advice to them: Next time don't forget to write your salary package or yearly income, than may be i'll look forward.

5. And in the end, this category of my fans which actually include a total of two individuals made me to write this post and hence cannot be IGNORED.

Those smart brains wrote me that how great i am, how good i look and how eastern i appear but how much i am a sinner. Because i write the stuff which stimulates hidden desires, express western approach, respond to my male readers at comments more & frankly; hence i have NO female readers, unethically wrote about my "personal experience" in the posts River Flows in You & But What DO We Call That, a fake; as i wears a scarf and try to appear religious, and so not a good eastern girl because i am exploiting the limits which are imposed on me according to our society and religion. Hence, i should mend my ways straight as soon as possible because it is a dangerous age which spoil people and throw them away from a peaceful eternity. And i am the current victim of it.

For those dear well wishers and for every other kind i want to say a few words:

Thank you for increasing the number of my blog readers till now and i will be more thankful to you if you may decrease it immediately and save your clicks, time and eye sight!

If you are really not willing to go at the saving plan than you newbies at net or at blogging world must spend your ample time in learning rather than scrutinizing others.

Writings are primarily author's insight and not the personal experiences except the mentioned publications and biographies.

Blogs & social networking sites are not meant to be chase your formula eligible *eastern* girls.

And if you are really so gutsy then while pointing a total stranger and passing your judgments; evaluate the other four fingers FIRST which points you, express directly in blog comments rather than messaging anonymously or through other ways so you can receive your well deserved reply. Good Luck!

P.S: Oh Lord! bless this blog with mature readership and prevent it from this kind of secret fan factory!

Blunt

I am Blunt

And being blunt hurts often!

Together We Rise; We are the NATION

Heartily Congratulations to the nation on the completion of first step against injustice and sick feudalistic system, first step towards Betterment and Development of our society.
Congratz on the restoration of Independent Judiciary.
May this fruitful air will be more long lasting and proves to be the important pillar in the building of our society. Amen and InshaAllah !
:)


http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=46027130

See ya Soon

dear readers i know its not so cool that i've juz started my blog journey & uptil now come up with only one post i.e; actualy an intro.
actualy i'm quite busy these days due to the busy schedule of the Holy Month. i hav my three posts still incomplete n saved as drafts bt no tym to give them a final touch for being publish.
InshaAllah soon i'l b here wid my part of life .

uptill then Ramadan Mubarak to all of u . May Allah forgive us & shower His blessings upon us in this Holy month.

Au Revoir